Hiding Smiles
by CarpeDiem75
Summary: Postep fic to Happenstance. Grissom and Sara discuss his teaching offer. GSR. Please read and review.


A/N: Normal disclaimers apply. Postep fic to Happenstance. GSR. Please read and review.

Hiding Smiles

"You could come with me."

Unable to mask her surprise, Sara sat up, breaking their embrace. "You want me to go with you?"

"Of course, honey, " Grissom said smiling. "My misanthropic nature has its limits."

Sara chuckled at his reference to their earlier conversation. Several hours ago, she found him in his office, head buried in the pages of Thoreau's Walden. Grissom's reaction to her surprise visit was less than warm, and sensing his moodiness, she didn't stay long. Before leaving, Sara couldn't resist making flippant use of the word "misanthrope," a common characterization of his current author of choice and an adjective often applicable to Grissom himself. She meant it as a tease, but the comment must have resonated with Grissom, as he was knocking on her apartment door less than twenty minutes after she arrived home.

They retired to bed after a quick meal. His mood seemed to have lightened, but he remained quiet and Sara could tell the wheels in his head were spinning out of control. Lying side-by-side, hand-in-hand, Grissom finally broke his silence and told her about the cross-country teaching offer. It was Sara's turn to be silent, at least until Grissom asked her to accompany him.

"Seriously," Sara said, "You want me to come with you?"

Grissom sighed heavily. "O-kay, I am only half serious," he admitted. "There is no question it would be a great opportunity to spend time together without sneaking around. On the other hand, it would be a hardship on the lab if both of us are gone, not to mention the eyebrows it might raise."

"The pressure of hiding our relationship is beginning to wear on you, isn't it?" Sara questioned.

He couldn't help but nod. "Isn't it getting to you?"

"Yes," Sara replied, "but there are only two alternatives. We either confess and put our careers at risk or," her voice beginning to crack, "we break-up."

The sadness in her voice did not go unnoticed by Grissom. She was still sitting up, staring at him as he reclined against a pillow, his hands interlaced behind his head. Grissom unlocked his fingers and pulled her toward him so they lay on their sides facing one another.

"Neither of those alternatives appeal to me either, Sara. I just feel like we are almost trying to hard to hide our feelings for one another. It is emotionally draining. When you first moved to Vegas, we joked, laughed and flirted without a care in the world. Today, you walked into my office and I didn't even smile. We were completely alone and I all but ignored you. There is no excuse for treating you so poorly, but it seems to have become an unfortunate habit when we are outside of the confines of your apartment or my townhouse."

The look on Grissom's face could only be described as shame. Sara's heart melted. She pressed her hand into the small of his back and pulled him closer.

"What do you want to do?" she whispered.

"I want to love you in a way you deserve."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Grissom stirred. The room-darkening drapes failed to keep all of the afternoon sun at bay. He reached for the left side of the bed. It was cold. Rubbing his eyes, Grissom glanced at the bedside table. The clock read 4:02. Seven hours was a long respite for him. Tightening the belt of his robe, he padded into the kitchen. Sara was sitting at the small dining room table sipping a cup of coffee. Walking up behind her, he kissed the top of her head and then stole the coffee cup from her hand.

"Have you been up long?"

Ignoring his question, Sara stated, "You should accept the teaching offer. I will stay here."

Concerned, Grissom circled the table to look at her face. It was calm.

"Gil, I am no more ready to out our relationship than you are. If we take leave at the same time, I doubt it will be written off as coincidence. Let us not forget we work with a team of highly trained investigators. I consider it a small miracle we have escaped interrogation thus far."

Grissom studied her face intently as she talked, looking for any sign of hurt.

"Are you sure," he asked.

"Yes, I am sure. And while you are away, we can both think about what to do about this."

Grissom smiled. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you more."

"Well we can debate that point until I leave. What I am sure of is that I would rather step on a spider that live my life without you."

"And I would rather eat meat than live without you." Sara replied.

They both laughed.

Later that evening, Sara entered Grissom's office to discuss a case. His smile lit up the room.


End file.
